I'm Not a Lolicon! I'm Katsura!
by Dumbperson
Summary: Gintoki and Shinpachi are gone on a job and Kagura is bored with nothing to do. Then in comes Katsura running from the Shinsengumi. This is a KatsuraXKagura fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm Not a Lolicon! I'm Katsura!**

_By: Dumbperson_

**AN:** Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic ever so I'm not very used to this. I guess this could be like my debut fanfic. If the story is somewhat weird then I'm sorry. This is a KatsuraXKagura story. I know it's a weird pairing but after the Benizakura Arc I've been in love with this pairing. If there is something wrong in this fanfic please tell me. I'd really like to improve on this story. So I hope you guys will enjoy this fanfic.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. It belongs to Sorachi-sensei._

* * *

**Chapter 1: Don't show other people your weakness**

"Get him!" Hijikata shouted.

It was another rowdy day at Kabukicho. The shinsengumi chasing Katsura, Hijikata shouting, and Okita trying to "accidentally" kill Hijikata, but as always Katsura escapes and Hijikata survives Okita's attacks.

Somewhere close to the scene is the Yorozuya Gin-chan where Kagura was lying on the couch, sucking on her sukonbu. Gintoki and Shinpachi had left for job. Since Kagura wouldn't wake up no matter how much they tried, they decided to leave her.

"Che, how could they just leave me like that," said Kagura.

She was feeling bored. She had nothing to do. Sadaharu was sleeping and she had no money. Then suddenly the window flew open and in came Katsura.

Kagura was sat up, startled by Katsura's sudden appearance. "What are you doing here?" said Kagura.

"Ah Leader. Nice seeing you here," said Katsura

"Just answer my question," said Kagura

"Well, I was being chased by the shinsengumi and then I decided to take refuge here."

Kagura felt annoyed at first but then decided she would kill time by playing with Katsura. "Hey Zura! You should play with me until Gin-chan comes back!" shouted Kagura.

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura. Also I can't. I'm a very busy man," said Katsura.

"So you can't?"

"Yes, I can't."

After a bit of a pause Kagura walked over to the window and screamed, "Oy! Taxrobbers! Zura is here! Come get him!"

"L..L..Leader, what do you think you're doing! I'll get caught if you do that! And also it's not Zura, It's Katsura!"

"Then play with me and I'll help you not get caught."

Katsura was obviously troubled by Kagura's demand. "Ok," he said.

Then suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Katsura quickly ran to the closet where Kagura sleeps and hid there.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing? Get out," said Kagura.

"It could be the shinsengumi. I can't get caught after all this trouble," said Katsura.

With a face that clearly said she was pissed off she walked towards the door. "What," she said with, annoyance in her voice, while opening the door.

Outside, Hijikata and Okita was standing there. "Hey, China. Did Katsura come here? You'd better not lie or I'd have to arrest you.

"He didn't. And also, I'd never let myself get arrested by a stupid sadist like you," replied Kagura.

"You want to see?"

"Don't cause a ruckus Sougo," said Hijikata. "I don't want to have to deal with the damages you caused again."

"But Hijikata-san, it's not like you're the one paying for the damages. What do you care?"

"We're the ones the blame goes on to you Idiot!"

"If you guys are just gonna fight then can you leave," said Kagura.

"Fine," said Hijikata. "Let's go Sougo." Once he and Okita left, Kagura walked over to her closet and opened the door.

"They're gone," Kagura said.

With a sigh Katsura said, "Thank you Leader,"

"Now, what should we do," said Kagura with a smile.

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**AN: **Chapter one finished _! I hope you guys enjoyed it. If it was boring or OOC or bad etc. please tell me. I'll try to fix it. Thank you for reading this complete amateur made fanfic. I promise to make the next story longer (if you guys want).


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **Chapter 2! I thank all those who read my story. I'm sorry for the long wait, but now it's here. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. Sorachi-sensei does._

**Chapter 2: How far would you go for the ones you love?**

* * *

"Zura?"

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura."

"I hate you."

"And why would that be?"

"You're really asking that, you idiot!"

Both Kagura and Katsura were tied up together, hanging from the ceiling.

How did this happen? Well a few hours ago…

"So what should we do?" asked Kagura.

"It was you, Leader, who blackmailed me into playing with you. Shouldn't you have something planned?" answered Katsura.

"I didn't blackmail you. I just used your situation to my advantage."

"Umm, Leader. That is blackmailing."

"Whatever. Hey, Zura."

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura."

"Where's Elizabeth?"

"She's right next to me."

"No she's not."

"What are you talking about Leader? She's right he…" When Katsura turned his head he noticed that Elizabeth wasn't next to him. He quickly looked around the room, but there was no sign of her anywhere.

"ELIZABETH!" He screamed.

Katsura started to panic. "Where, … where, … where is she? She was right next to me when we were running away from the Shinsengumi!"

"Hey, there's something on your back," said Kagura.

"Hmm?" Katsura removed a piece of paper from his haori and read it. It said,

_We have your precious duck. If you don't want  
it to get hurt then you must come  
to the big mansion close to the park._

"What's this?" asked Kagura.

"… ahh, I know who they are." said Katsura.

"Who?"

"Well before I came here…"

**Flashback**

It was a nice day at the park. There were many people hanging out or playing together. Next to the fountain Katsura was leisurely strolling around with Elizabeth.

"Isn't it so peaceful Elizabeth," said Katsura.

Elizabeth held up a board that said, "Yes it is."

Then suddenly, five Amantos, who had a face of an alligator, appeared. One of them yelled, "Hey, all of you get out of this park! This place now belongs to us, the Alligors (couldn't think of a better Amanto species name).

"What!" A child said. "This place doesn't belong to you!"

"Oh yes it does, little brat. Now scram!"

The boy's mother pulled her towards her and said, "Let's go. It's best not to mess with them."

Katsura could barely hold his anger in. "How dare those Amantos just come and destroy the peace and quiet of this lovely place," he raged. Katsura walked up to the Alligors and said, "Excuse me. What gives you the right to claim this park as yours?"

"Who're you," asked one of the Alligors.

"Just a curious bystander," replied Katsura.

"Well, let me tell you why. We are the Alligors, the strongest and most powerful of all the Amantos. Our great lord has taken a liking to this place so it's now his."

"Did he buy this place?" asked Katsura.

"No. Anything he wants from this useless planet, he can have. After all he is the great lord of the Alligors."

"Hmmm. Well, because he didn't buy this park, he has no right to force others to leave."

"What! Didn't you hear us! We are the great Alligors! Puny humans such as you have no right to resist us! Since you have, worthless human, you'll have to face the consequences!"

The five Alligors took out their weapons and pointed them at Katsura.

Katsura sighed and he slowly unsheathed his katana. The Alligors let out a battle cry and charged towards Katsura.

Five minutes later the five amantos lay on the ground injured and moaning. Katsura sheathed his sword, not a single scratch on him.

"How…how could we lose," said an Alligor.

"S…s….so strong," moaned another.

Katsura came closer to the Amantos and said, "Tell your great lord that if he intends to take this park by force, I….." Suddenly a bazooka was fired at him. Katsura, luckily, was able to dodge it by a split second.

"Hijikata-san, I found Katsura," said Okita.

"Sougo! You just destroyed the park fountain! I thought I told you to stop destroying things," yelled Hijikata.

"Ah. Katsura's getting away," said Yamazaki.

When Hijikata turned his head he saw that Katsura was running towards the park's exit.

"Ahhh. Look what you did Hijikata-san. You let Katsura get away," said Okita.

"Shut up," said Hijikata. "Get him!"

**Flashback end**

"And that's what happened," said Katsura.

"Hmmm. So you're saying those alligators took Elizabeth," said Kagura.

"Probably…but whoever did it I must go save Elizabeth."

"No. You can't go," said Kagura.

"What?... Why Leader?"

"Because you promised to play with me."

"How about you come with me to save Elizabeth. That might take away your boredom."

"That sounds annoying. I don't wanna."

"I'll buy you two weeks' worth of sukonbu."

"No."

"Three weeks."

"No."

"A month."

"Hmmm…. no."

"Two months!"

Kagura suddenly stood up and said with vigor, "Did I say it was annoying? Well my mistake. It ain't annoying at all. Let's go Zura!"

"It's not Zura. It's Katsura," said Katsura while being dragged out of the house by Kagura.

"So where's the park where you met them," asked Kagura.

"It should be north from here," replied Katsura.

"North got it." Kagura started walking towards east.

"Umm Leader… that's east."

Kagura stopped on her tracks and then turned around towards the direction of north. "I…I knew that! I was just looking around for a bit!"

While passing Katsura, there was a slight hint of pink on her cheeks. "How cute," Katsura thought.

"What are you doing Zura. C'mon," said Kagura.

"For the last time Leader (_bit annoyed_), It's not Zura. It's Katsura."

**At the park**

"So it's this mansion," said Katsura.

"It really is right next to the park," said Kagura.

"Well let's go," said Katsura.

"Yeah," replied Kagura.

Both walked up to the front door and Kagura and knocked.

"Excuse me anybody home?" Kagura shouted.

**In a control room somewhere inside the mansion**

"Sir, Katsura's here, and there seems to be a little girl with him," said one of the Alligors.

"Heh. What an idiot he is. What kind of brainless person would come to the front door of their enemy's house? Especially someone who sent a threat letter," said an Alligor who had fancier clothing than the others in the control room. "Turn on all the traps. Make sure he doesn't reach the third floor living room."

"What about the girl?"

"She must be his ally. Watch her as well."

"Yes sir."

**Back at the entrance**

"Why aren't they answering the door?" Kagura whined.

"I don't know," said Katsura.

Then suddenly the ground below their feet disappeared.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Kagura and Katsura screamed while falling.

Both of them fell into a cage when they reached the ground.

"Ouch. What the hell was that," said Kagura.

"It seems there are traps in this mansion," Katsura replied.

"What! Damn it. Let's just get out of this damn cage."

With a swing of her umbrella Kagura broke the cage. "As expected of Leader. Nice job," said Katsura.

"Enough chit chat. Whoever built this stupid trap is gonna get their ass kicked." While cracking her knuckles, Kagura walked down the hallway.

Inside the mansion was very clean and grand. It had many rooms and a very very long hallway.

"Why are there so many rooms!" yelled Kagura. "And there's no end to this damn hallway!"

"Now now, calm down Leader," said Katsura.

"Calm down? We've been walking for twenty minutes and no sign of anything other than doors! Not to mention every door we open is either an empty room or just leads to another stupid hallway! I feel like I'm in a fucking maze!"

Kagura gasped heavily after screaming. "Are you feeling better now Leader," asked Katsura.

"NO!"

"How about we try this room next, Leader?"

"Fine!"

Katsura opened the door and both entered the empty room.

"Great! Another shitty empty room. Why am I not surprised," said Kagura while rolling her eyes.

Then suddenly ropes shot out of the ceiling and wrapped around Kagura and Katsura.

**Back to the present **

"You just had to choose this room out of all the other god forsaken rooms!" Kagura shouted.

"I'm sorry," said Katsura.

"Just fix this mess!"

"Ok."

Katsura started wiggling around to reach his katana.

"Wahhh! That's my ass you're touching, pervert," said Kagura.

Katsura blushed a little and said, "Sorry Leader. I'm just trying to get a hold of my katana." Once Katsura was able to get a hold of his katana, he cut the ropes that were binding them.

**At the control room**

"Sir they were able to escape from the rope trap as well, and looking at the little girl's strength and that umbrella, she seems to be a Yato."

"Yato or not keep the traps coming. They must not reach the third floor!"

"Yes sir."

On the third floor living room there was Elizabeth in a cage, playing Rubik's Cube.

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**AN: **Chapter 2 finished! If there's something you don't like or anything please tell me. I'll try to do the best I can to fix it. I made this chapter longer than the first one for those who wanted it to be longer. Next chapter, I'll try to add more KaguraxKatsura scenes.


End file.
